apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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