Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
