It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
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You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
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She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize