I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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