Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
please come you make the beer taste better
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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