i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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