I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
