Can Purell be used as lube?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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