if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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