Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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