She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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