I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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