this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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