I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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