I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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