Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
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