dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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