no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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