Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize