My hair reeks of homosexuality.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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