i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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