help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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