their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
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When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
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I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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