Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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