His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
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It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
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I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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