I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize