dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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