I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
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It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize