If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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