If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize