so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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