fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just google imaged poop.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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