I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize