Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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