tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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