escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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