My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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