Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize