It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize