Your tits are I can't wait for
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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