Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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