there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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