he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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