Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize