I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Come on in and take your pants off
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