Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize