You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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