Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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