I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
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Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
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I wanna throw up and cum in that order
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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