I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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