Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize